Sunday, August 10, 2014

34. Trying Something New

I finished my master's in psychology in February 2014. By March 2014 I enrolled in more classes. I figured since work was paying for the classes, I might as well go for it. My initial intentions were good enough. I wanted to take accounting classes to learn more about business to grow my photography business. This isn't a bad idea in itself, that is, until I decided "hey, why not just get another degree only this one in accounting?"

The first several classes I took were excellent and provided me with the knowledge I was looking for in originally taking the classes (i.e. basic business knowledge). By the time I made it to class three and four, I started questioning my motivation to continue with this degree. I started to feel like I was spinning my tires.

See, the degree itself was fine. I wasn't struggling with the content and I found it interesting, but something was not right about what I was doing. I came to realize that I had jumped into another degree program because it is what I've always done. I've never not been in school. School is what I do. At this point though, it's pretty clear that I've got the school thing figured out. I know how to be a student and I know how to be successful in a degree program.

So I did something I've never done before: I quit school.

I quit school and it felt sooooooooooooooooooooo good. It feels amazing to be able to grow in other ways. I can finally focus on finishing my book. I can do more photography gigs and learn more about Photoshop. I can spend more time with my friends and get out into the thriving community where I reside.

School played an important role for me, many roles if we want to be technical about things. In the past five years, I was pretty sick. I had lots of pain, fatigue, and infections. I didn't know what I was dealing with and I was overwhelmed. During that time school was my way of feeling like my illness (which was a mystery at the time) wasn't in control of my life. It helped me feel like even though I couldn't really travel, take pictures without pain, or be in the community without exhausting myself, that I could still accomplish something and do something meaningful.

Now that I have my diagnosis, I've been able to take the steps needed to better control my symptoms. I don't have to be house-ridden any more! I can get out and do things without feeling like I'm going to die. I don't need school like I once did. I am a whole human without it now.

Don't get me wrong, I am beyond thankful for where my education has taken me. Who knows, maybe someday I'll go back and finish this degree, but for now I need to focus on developing in ways outside of school.

Cheers to a fresh chapters! :: clink! ::

d'Artagnan

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